"The Ones Who Survive War and Famine"

It was finally time for our first OB appointment.  I was nervous.  It was just another point in this amazing process that made the reality of our situation all the more....well, real.  I just kept thinking how I couldn't wait to hear our baby's heartbeat.  I remembered hearing my nieces for the first time when my sister was pregnant and it was nothing short of miraculous.

The decision regarding which doctor we would go with was a relatively easy one.  I have heard wonderful things about Dr. Dovre and he's been delivering babies for over 40 years, there is probably very little that would still surprise him.  Plus he's from Sweden, and even though he doesn't have a strong accent and looks and acts nothing like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, to think they hail from the same country makes me smile! After our first visit I knew we had made the right choice!

We arrived and I was so nervous and excited.  Our visit started with a whole lot of question answering (Is it weird that I actually really enjoy filling out doctor office questionnaires?), and peeing in a cup (who knew you'd have to do that at every visit?), it was finally time to meet Dr. Dovre...and then it was time to have an annual gynecological exam?!  Wait! What?  We were only just beginning our appointment and already so many of my ideas of what it would be like were being shattered.  I actually didn't know they would do a pap smear while you were pregnant.  It wasn't my first smear, but it certainly was the first for Danny.  It was actually really cute how uncomfortable he was with the whole experience (Man! I heart him!)

There was quite a bit going on during this short exam.  After our long conversation about the fact that I have PCOS and how long it took us to get pregnant when we first met in his office across the hall, Dr. Dovre continued our discussion as he went about the exam.

"Usually women with PCOS are really athletic.  They will often be flagged for drug testing since they typically excel due to their body producing more testosterone than other women.  They think they are shooting up the stuff, but the reality is, they just make it naturally on their own, and you can't fault 'em for that," he explained.

"You know, Lisa has always been freakishly strong," my husband lovingly contributed to the doctor's facts about PCOS.

"Oh, I don't doubt it, I don't doubt it."  He replied.  A small awkward silence followed (but then isn't it always at least a little awkward when you're in the stirrups of vulnerability?)

 "You know what else?" he continued. "It's the big girls with PCOS, the big girls, those are the ones who survive war and famine!  Think about it!  The smaller skinny women, their bodies begin to shut down.  They become ammenorreic (stop having a cycle), they're unable to get pregnant and eventually starve and die.  But PCOS women, they do so well in those conditions because they know how to hold their calories.  They start to lose a little weight and then their cycles begin to regulate.  Those are the women who ultimately save the world and carry on the human race because they're the only ones that can have babies!"

I have never laughed so hard during an annual exam in my life!  Fantastic!  I did tell him though I was hoping we wouldn't have to go that particular route to get pregnant with the next one.  He seemed ok with that plan.

The appointment only continued to dash my expectations to pieces.  As we concluded the least pleasant part of our visit, Dr. Dovre looks up at me and says, "Well, I think it's time we take a look at your baby."

Wait?!  WHAAA?  I was only anticipating getting to hear a heartbeat (which we actually never did get to do).  I was going to have an ultrasound too?  Are you kidding me?!  That was WAY better than getting to hear baby, I was going to get to SEE baby. I was almost in tears, but then again, I was 10 weeks pregnant, I was almost always almost in tears.

The assistant turned out the lights and they rolled the machine near me.  Danny moved to my side and in no time our little precious baby was a bunch of wavy lines on the monitor.  It was astonishing.  I should have been speechless, I should have been bawling.  But all I could do was smile and ask questions as I choked back far fewer tears than I expected this moment would bring.  His (and I say his only because we haven't been told baby is a her), his body was so small compared to his enormous head and he already had distinguishable arms (those two tiny little dots). There he was.  He was so active.  He moved so much.  It just made me wish I could feel him right then.  I just couldn't believe that all of what I was seeing was taking place inside of me.  I just wanted to take him out and hold him.  I would have put him back, but they just don't cook the same if you do...kinda like pancakes, once you flip them, they don't brown if you flip 'em back.

The doctor and assistant left to give me the opportunity to get dressed before we met him across the hall once more.  With just Danny and I in the room it was clear I had been able to hold it together a little better than he had.  I asked if he was doing ok.  Red faced with tear-filled eyes he looked at me and said, "I'm great.  I just got to see my baby for the first time.  I'm great!" Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep it together then?  What an amazing moment!

So much transpired in those few minutes I just wanted to go back and relive it once more and then maybe again.  The whole experience was so unexpected and wonderful and I still had hearing the heartbeat to look forward too!

On a completely separate note, a friend of mine has requested a pregnancy pic.  Up until 20 minutes ago, I hadn't taken one.  I guess I didn't feel like it was going to show a whole lot since I was a "curvy" woman when I got pregnant.  Now that I'm 17 weeks, I do feel like it's more than just me contributing to things when I look at my tummy.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still there, but baby is starting to make a bumpish presence.  So without further ado, as if you were all waiting with baited breath...my first pregnancy picture.

P.S. I've never taken a selfie, so don't judge me if it's not very artistic :o)